When Fear Teaches Freedom

Releasing the illusion of vulnerability

Source: Wix

Standing in my living room with a stranger sent to do repairs, navigating language barriers and possible cultural differences, he came closer to me in a way that put me on high alert. I felt that queasy, unsettled feeling of something being wrong. It was that primal kind of fear that rises in a woman's body when she senses threat. As my awareness scanned for blunt objects and an escape route, I stood firm, unwilling to show fear and preparing to fight.

Even with him safely gone and reported to his boss, the fear and adrenaline lingered. What if he came back or told his buddies about this woman living alone on a hill in the woods? That night I took practical precautions – locked my doors, turned outdoor lights, activated my security cameras, and positioned weapons around the room. But as night fell and I sat alone with my unease, something deeper began to unfold.

Just the day before, I had been processing feelings of vulnerability after my ex-boyfriend cut all contact to focus on his healing.

The timing wasn't lost on me - how quickly the field had sent a situation that seemed to confirm these old fears about being a woman on her own in the world.

Yet within this convergence lay a divine invitation to examine the very nature of fear, safety, and identity itself, and to release self-sabotaging beliefs.

The Manifesting Power of Hidden Beliefs

When the wind pushed against my bedroom patio doors around 10 PM, my first thought after my heart stopped pounding was to call my ex and ask him to be there with me. All day I had resisted that urge.

Had I drawn this experience to myself as a subconscious justification to reach out to my him? Was this an unconscious way to feel okay about breaking the boundary he had set?

Or was it the frequency of feeling vulnerable and those latent fears of once again being on my own that drew it to me? Without blame, I recognize that our frequency, driven by our beliefs, attracts matching experiences. When there is enough energetic momentum behind a fear, as was true in this case, it will manifest in some form.

In this way, what happened was not a random threat but a reflection of and opportunity to transmute these deeper energetic patterns.

It was the physical manifestation of a belief brought to my awareness so I could release it.

As I sat with these feelings, layers of understanding began to reveal themselves. From my fear came a recognition of how my identification with form - particularly gender - had shaped my experience of safety and vulnerability. The very feminist movements meant to empower women had inadvertently reinforced an identity of vulnerability and victimization, seeding limitation rather than liberation. The solution was not in the dead-men-don’t-rape rhetoric of my Riot Grrrl days but in embodying the knowing that I am a fractal of source consciousness expressing through form. I reminded myself:

Body is a vehicle not an identity.

Vulnerability is a story not a truth.

Protection flows not from external circumstances but from consciousness.

Deconstructing Protection

Yet even this notion of needing "protection" reveals another layer of limiting beliefs to examine. What exactly am I protecting and from what? If I am consciousness itself, having the perception of physical form, what is ever truly at risk? The body may experience discomfort or pain, but consciousness remains untouchable, eternal, and irrevocably complete.

Perhaps the very concept of protection is rooted in the illusion of separation - the belief that we are fragile beings who must defend against a hostile world, rather than expressions of the unified field experiencing itself through infinite forms and possibilities.

This is not a license to be reckless but an understanding that we are the creators of our reality.

That nothing more serious happened is also a function of my frequency, which acts as a natural barrier to the realm of lower energies. My sense of security was shaken but I was unharmed. My body picked up on subtle cues, my intellect charted a path to safety, and I ended the interaction. Whether I was ever really in grave danger is unknown and beside the point. I listened to the intuition that is always guiding me. I turned to the knowing deep inside me that the power to shift my experience and restore my wellbeing rests with me. I chose an elevated vibration of peace, power, and presence over resorting to old habits.

Choosing the Higher Path of Freedom

The very experience that triggered fear became a portal to deeper liberation. As I woke up this morning, I was proud of myself. What began as a threatening encounter ended with a greater commitment to my inner guidance and growth. I sent my subconscious mind a strong message that old patterns and beliefs will no longer work.  Even in my momentary terror, I made the choice not to seek external comfort but to seek refuge within myself instead, while also respecting my ex’s healing journey - something I hadn't always been good at doing.

We grow through choice.

When we choose to step onto the higher path more aligned with universal truth, we energize new potentials and possibilities. Often that means sitting with discomfort and anguish instead of reflexively acting out old patterns. While challenging, we can approach that with curiosity and play. We know what old ways bring.

What might emerge if I create space for the new?

When we release identification with form and fully embody our nature as consciousness itself, fear becomes a choice rather than a reaction. Safety emerges from our being rather than external measures of protection. Yesterday’s experience, rather than being about a woman feeling threatened, becomes simply consciousness observing form-based patterns and choosing to elevate beyond them.

This is the journey from form to freedom - from identifying with the limited to embodying the limitless. In the end, even our notion of needing protection dissolves in the infinite ocean of consciousness that we are. The only thing ever truly "at risk" was my momentary identification with limitation itself.